Photos at the bottom 😊
Tuesday 6th December
It’s our fourth night in Bir, a small town 2 hours away from Dharamshala and 15 mins from Sherab Ling and Dharmalaya. A paragliding hot spot which is wasted on me. The idea of jumping off of a mountain strapped into another human being makes me feel funny in the funny bits.
We spent the first few hours here deciding which room in our hotel was the warmest by using the simple ‘can we see our breath’ test.
Our latest abode is actually quite nice, plus we’re opposite a stunning monastery with some beautiful stupas laid out the front.
The nights have slowly improved. Our first night was a restless sleep with the local street dogs rehearsing for their broadway showcase.
I’m sure there’s more to Bir than paragliding, but the sport has given rise to a lot of crummy cafes and a sad amount of consumerism. There’s hardly any veg places. Instead, meaty places are frustratingly juxtaposed with prayer flags and Buddhist temples.
On the Sunday we had the opportunity to pop back up to Dharmalaya for a catch up. After our time together at Sherab Ling the inspiring souls that we met from Dharmalaya have secured a little space in our hearts so it was wonderful to go back and share some food and time with this incredible tribe.
We had enrolled on a course at the incredibly serene Deer Park. The course title was a cryptic Pali word “Sakkāydițțhi” The description on the website read “‘self-view’, the first obstacle to enlightenment, led by Ven. Ajahn Amaro, a Theravāda Buddhist monk and teacher, and abbot of the Amaravati Buddhist Monastery at the eastern end of the Chiltern Hills in South East England.”… ok…
We arrived on the premises in the early afternoon of Sunday the 4th. Under a deep blue sky we wandered up to the park, we figured we should go and check-in due to the organiser ghostings all of Amy’s emails. Unfortunately on arrival we found out we had not been enrolled on the course… fortunately there was still space!
The afternoon of the 5th rolls along and so does the start of our new course. We sit down toward the back of a simple but bright room with a giant Bodhisattva statue watching over us all. A new sea of faces, a new ambience and another opportunity to work on my sitting posture.
The Ven. Ajahn Amaro walks in a sits down. He offers a brief overview of the days ahead and then drops a bombshell. Apparently it’s a silent, meditation retreat.
A silent
Meditation
Retreat.
…
…
Actually, the bombshell isn’t that big of a deal. Amz and I are totally on board with keeping quiet on the premises but we agree we’re allowed to talk to each other off site. It’s always been a dream of mine to attend a silent retreat but with no warning and no mental preparation time it’s just not practical. Maybe if I was travelling solo. The centre wasn’t able to cater to us not eating animals so we would be self-catering and eating out. This at the least required some chat. The meditation aspect is quite a difficult pill to swallow. Both of us have increased our daily meditation to 30 minutes but the thought of meditating for 2-3 hours a day (plus an extra 5 hours of sitting for the teachings) makes me want to explode which is exactly the feeling I needed to work with.
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7th December
6:34 and the Pali chanting starts. A new language, a simple meter of melody with slight rises and falls in the pitch. It’s strange but not unpleasant.
The first chant is called ‘dedication of offerings’.
My knees are so achy, my shins are on fire and I’ve only been sat for 7 minutes so far. The last few days have ruined my legs. Both Amy and I have been hobbling around the hotel room like we’ve been in a serious road traffic accident.
When we left the room this morning we were greeted with the moon at its fullest, illuminating the absence of light on the stupas that stood in front of us. Silence. A raw chill in the air.
Today we have reached our 3 month travelversary.
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10th December
Another milestone in this trip. Today we completed our retreat, our first foray into Theravāda buddhism. We’ve been up before 6am every morning for the last few days. A quick shower and then a gentle but hasty hike to the meditation hall. The days have mostly looked like this:
• group chanting
• 45 minutes meditation
• Race back to the hotel for a banana and a coffee
• Race back to Deer Park for teaching no.1 of the day (circa 1.5 hours)
• 10 min break
• 1 hour Q&A
• Race back to the hotel for a delicious breakfast made by Amz and another coffee
• Race back to Deer Park for teaching no.2 of the day (circa 1.5 hours)
• 10 min break
• 1 hour Q&A
• Walking Meditation for half an hour
• 10 min break
• Teaching no.3 of the day (circa 1.5 hours)
• Dinner at 5:30pm at a nearby restaurant
• Back to the hotel to read and sleep
Really, it’s been amazing. The journey my mind has gone on from day 1 to day 6 is epic. I’m pretty sure I wanted to give up, to leave at the end of day one because of my prejudices and ignorances toward the format, the teacher and the teachings… by day 6 I feel deeply changed. My meditation practise is vastly greater, deeper and richer. My knowledge of ‘the self’ is incredibly transformed as is my awareness of my mind. I hope all of the wisdom I’ve gathered doesn’t just disappear over time.
The highlight might have been the ‘death preparation’ meditation.
The lowlight was when probably when my hand raised during the final reflections and I felt like I blacked out sharing my insights, ha!
The funniest thing was probably when we were allowed to break our vow of silence. Amy and I bumped into the lady who was sat in front of me for the last 6 days. She asked where we were from and when we revealed the UK, she said “No way, I had no idea. You’re both so good looking, there’s no way I would have thought you were from the UK” - which was kind of nice to hear??? She then followed it up with “well, he [pointing at me] looked gorgeous on the first day, then he started to look like he’d been punched in the face because he just looked awful for the rest of the retreat”. Ha!
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11th December
Before we checked out and moved on, we decided to go and have a poke around the neighbouring Chokling monastery. The colours of the buildings provided a deep contrast to the blue skies above. There were young monks playing in one area of the courtyard and more senior monks attending to some work on the other side. I followed Amy across the open space while my mind was lost in wonder, but came back to myself when a very small but brave dog started growling at me. I side stepped out of its visual field and the menacing noise faded into nothing, he couldn’t even be bothered to turn his head.
I looked around for Amy and she had struck up a conversation with a mask wearing senior monk whose name we later learned was Sonam. Amy was asking what he and his friends were doing as there were lots of small, round, clay like balls being laid across the floor. In a million years we would have not come up with the answer. Sonam explained that these were special pills which would go inside various Buddhist statues that were being made to go in the main hall at the monastery which was currently being renovated. The pills were made from herbs collected from various pilgrimage sites around the world, including Tibet, Nepal, Bhutan India, China and Sri Lanka. They were mixed with water collected from the ocean as well as some sand, before being rolled into balls and dried in the sun. Sonam called them “sa na chu na”.
The monk told us we should go and look at the room across the way and that he would then take us to the retreat space for a private viewing.
Opening the double doors into the temple was like going back a few hundred years. Mostly a dark space with a crack of light coming in through the adjacent windows. Shadows jutted out from the base of ancient objects. This place felt like a secret.
Going back out to the courtyard we were led up a steep set of hollow metal stairs and through a secret door. A temple inside a temple. The retreat space not typically open to the public. We were lucky to be here. We were lucky that the monks were making their special balls, that Amy had enquired about their purpose, that Sonam, who had come here from Bhutan many years ago, had given Amy an answer and that he thought and said “you’ve come a long way, I must show you the secret door and what lies beyond”.
I feel very very lucky to be here.
The kindness and generosity of everyone I’ve met over the last few months fills my cup every day.
Sonam goes into detail about the buildings, the art on the walls, the space, the retreat. I’m overwhelmed that devout monks go on 3 year retreats here, that this place exists alongside the reality I grew up in. These dedicated monks, they use those 3 years to turn inward, devoting their thoughts to kindness and compassion. Our cultures as human beings are so varied, so rich, so fascinating.
11:30am comes and it’s time to check out, so we head back and stuff our belongings into a tiny taxi. My knees are squished right up against the dashboard even with the chair pushed back. I pray it’s not a bumpy journey.
We arrive intact and due to Amy’s knee pain, I tangle myself in bags with as many as I can carry. Both of our big packs slung onto my front and back, a couple of tote bags and bag of fruit for good measure. The car couldn’t drop us door to door as there are little rivers running across the road. I can’t see my feet. There is hope in every footstep.
Sukoon Baag, we have arrived, bliss. 4 nights of living in heaven. YESS!!!!!!!
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12th, 13th and 14th December
Reading, walking, eating, sleeping, reading, walking, eating, sleeping, reading, walking, eating, sleeping, reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping reading, walking, eating, sleeping.
Books:
Educated by Tara Westover
Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World by 14th Dalai Lama
The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
Sukoon Baag
Sukoon Baag is a beautiful homestay in a truly idyllic setting. It’s located within a farm right next to a gorge and offers “pure solitude amongst nature”. It is surrounded by the picturesque foothills of Dhauladhars. Our host, who set up the homestay on his family’s plot of land is an Architect/Farmer/Artist/Author/Rapper/Possible Genius/Definitely a delight to be around and holder of one of the most inspiring stories I’ve come across.
Shashi is a little younger than me. He greeted us during our first evening meal which was prepared by the lovely chefs who work at the property. At first I found myself slightly dizzy by the amount of info he was sharing and then I started to become curious about who our host actually was. It didn’t take long for Shashi to share all of the projects he’s currently managing. He’s on fire with his productivity. It’s awe inspiring.
We eventually got to talking about music. One thing lead to another and out of nowhere Shashi starts rapping for us. He’s really good and Amy and I are a bit speechless. What made his rapping skills even more impressive was the story he shared after.
When Shashi was young, he and his family lived in the mountains in a tribal community, far from towns and far from the amenities we often take for granted. One day, aged four years old, Shashi accidentally swallowed a coin which became lodged in his throat. His father, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get his son to a hospital fast enough, had no choice but to put his hand down his son’s throat to dislodge the coin himself. Fortunately this action saved Shashi’s life, however it also damaged his vocal chords so severely, that it left him speechless, literally. For several years Shahi was unable to speak and had to endure school life as a mute. As time passed and with the help of a doctors and therapists, Shashi’s vocal chords did heal, but he needed to learn how to use them again. He had to learn how speak for the second time in his life, this time not in the natural and instinctive way that children do, but more mechanically, as a young person with self-awareness. When he was able to communicate verbally again, Shashi had a severe stammer and his peers at school didn’t take him seriously. Further therapy was required.
In spite of the tremendous challenges and all of the ridicule and torment, Shashi found the courage to push himself forward into a tsunami of a creator. In the case of his rapping, he used his experience of consciously learning to speak, to explore the voice through the medium of rap. It seems that overcoming losing his voice has given Shashi a next level can-do attitude and a massive amount of positive energy. Sukoon Baag is built on that energy. This guy dreams big. He knows how precious life is and you can see it in his eyes.
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15th December
A very long day of travel indeed. The tyres started rolling at 9am and we arrived in Chandigarh at 5pm. A full days work for some. I stared out the window in a trance watching the ever-changing terrain and those that inhabited it.
Chandigarh train station was overwhelming. It was crazy smoggy and there were people everywhere. The noise of the bird chatter was deafening, drowned out only by the ear-splitting sound of the train horns.
The train took 3 hours. A classic train journey. We read. We listened. We rested our eyes.
The last part of the journey was a rickshaw ride that lasted 20 minutes. Leaving Delhi station was hard work. Out of the train carriage and into a swarm of hungry-for-our-business men. We selected a driver at random, too tired to haggle and unable to pre-book since my SIM card became defunct after 3 months. Let’s go. The first few twists and turns were down back alleys reminiscent of a dark film where the tourists get abducted and murdered. We were just tired. We were fine.
Bed.
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16th and 17th and 18th December.
Essentially ground hog day. We LOVE Delhi but were only really there as we needed to stop, plan our next stop and load up on cake.
The 16th was spent mainly discussing which place we would go to next. The choice was between Thailand and Malaysia. We’ve already booked a villa in Bali for three months from the beginning of Jan. We’re trying to be carbon conscious with our flying and these are the only two destinations that fly direct to Bali.
We deliberated over weather, flight prices, how much time we would have in either country and how we would get around. We considered the food vibe, accommodation and what kind of pace we wanted. In the end Malaysia won.
So after 3 months in this wonderful, incredible and generous country, this India chapter comes to an end. Next stop Kuala Lumpur.
